2023 Cadillac Escalade-V: For When Lighting Money on Fire Is a Little Too On-the-Nose

• New high-performance version of the Escalade (boy, that feels weird to type)
• 682-horsepower supercharged V8
• Available in standard Escalade and long-wheelbase Escalade ESV versions
• Part of the fifth Escalade generation introduced for 2021

What's under the Escalade-V's hood?

Cadillac started with the supercharged 6.2-liter V8 from the CT5-V Blackwing and Chevrolet Camaro ZL1, then made further modifications — such as a larger supercharger — resulting in a thunderous 682 horsepower and 653 lb-ft of torque. This puts the Escalade-V at the top of the full-size luxury SUV food chain; the smaller Tesla Model X Plaid is the only three-row on the market with more power.

Even with all that power, however, there's simply no overcoming the Escalade's mass and aerodynamics. Cadillac's claimed 0-60 mph time is just under 4.4 seconds, which is un-Plaid-like and a couple ticks slower than the XB7.

The Escalade-V's engine will be paired with a 10-speed automatic transmission and all-wheel drive. It will also have a sport-tuned adaptive air suspension with the ability to lower the ride height by about 0.8 inch. The six-piston Brembo brakes in the front are painted in an Edge Red scheme echoed on the key fob. The Escalade-V will ride on unique gunmetal gray 22-inch wheels that are, despite the SUV's sporting pretensions, wrapped in all-season tires. Finally, out back is an active exhaust system that allows the driver to tune the tenor from the quad exhaust outlets — Stealth mode for quiet mornings, Sport for when you want to announce your presence, and Touring for everyday driving.

How's the Escalade-V's interior?

The Escalade-V's interior is as plush as you would expect from a luxury SUV. It is equipped similarly to the standard Escalade's range-topping Platinum trim level, which can be had in either black or dark brown semi-aniline leather in all rows. Interior panels are covered in wood veneers with stripes that Cadillac playfully refers to as a Zebra pattern.

How's the Escalade-V's tech?

This fully loaded Escalade doesn't skimp on the features, with goodies like heated, ventilated and massaging front seats, a 38-inch panel incorporating three OLED screens (including a 16.9-inch central touchscreen), and an augmented reality overlay for navigation all standard. If you don't feel like constantly listening to the roar of the supercharged V8, there's also a 36-speaker AKG audio system, which will likely sound better than many home theater setups. Cadillac's Super Cruise hands-free driving technology, with trailering support and automatic lane changes, will be available further down the line, as a $2,500 option.

How's the Escalade-V's towing?

While most people will not likely tow in their Escalade-V, Cadillac says the super truck is capable of hauling roughly 7,000 pounds, or about 1,200 pounds less than the most capable standard Escalade.

How economical is the Escalade-V?

The Escalade-V has not yet been tested by the EPA, but for reference, the CT5-V Blackwing with this engine is rated at 15 mpg combined. Expect the Escalade-V's number to be well below that. In other words, if you have to ask, this isn't the vehicle for you.

Edmunds says

These are the last days of monstrous gas-guzzling SUVs, folks. If you have too much money and want a nice middle ground between donating to charity and literally burning hundred dollar bills to light your cigars, this is it.