2016 Honda Civic: How I'd Fix the Volume Control
by Mark Takahashi, Automotive Editor on August 10, 2016
I like our long-term 2016 Honda Civic. I wrote up a road test last December that says so. There is one thing, however, that drives me absolutely batty, and that's the volume control. Rather than complain about it, I came up with a fix. Go on, keep reading. I dare you.
Honda's decision to use a slider instead of a knob baffles me. Perhaps I'd be a bit less irritated if it actually worked, but it doesn't. Not very well, at least. I brought this up to someone at Honda and their response was along the lines of, "The younger-generation drivers are more accustomed to using this."
My response to that was, "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
If you want to turn the volume up, you swipe your finger up the strip. But one swipe doesn't take you from silence to full blast. To reach what I consider normal listening volume, I have swipe up about three times. Finer adjustments mean you have to carefully slide up or down by very small increments — a task that occupies more of my attention than I prefer while operating a horseless carriage. To lower the volume in a hurry, like if you think you hear distant sirens, it's swipe swipe swipe again.
Even worse, sometimes it seems like it's not registering my inputs at all, when in fact it's stacking multiple inputs and preparing to execute them all at once a few seconds later. Imagine my surprise when I tried multiple times to increase the volume, gave up, then a few seconds later the system went into "eardrum shattering mode." Thanks for the tinnitus.
So here's my fix. It's a knob on a suction cup. There's an arm extending from the knob that holds a severed human fingertip, perhaps from the person who greenlit this slider nonsense. You stick the knob next to the slider and the fingertip touches the slider. Done. Easy, and only one person gets hurt.
Mark Takahashi, Automotive Editor @ 79999.84 furlongs