2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8: Top 3 Reasons To Own One
March 19, 2013
I'm not married, I don't have any kids, I live in a two-bedroom apartment, and the most I ever need to load into my car is a few bags of groceries and a duffel bag for the gym. But after driving our long-term 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8, I feel like I need one.
It puts an ear-to-ear grin on my face every time I flex my big-toe near the throttle, and for that reason alone I'm happy the entire time I'm driving it. Still, there are three specific reasons I would want to own this truck.
1. Cupholders. A few years ago a roommate of mine traded in his Dodge Magnum and bought a slightly used Porsche Cayenne that had depreciated off a cliff and lost almost half its value in less time than it took to go from 0-60. We went out for an inaugural ride in the Porsche to grab smoothies and I quickly noticed a very disturbing problem. "Hey, where are the cupholders?" I commented. "There aren't any, it's a sports car," my roommate responded.
Actually, it did. But maybe he was embarrassed by the way-too-shallow cupholders hidden under the sliding cover of the center console, but in my mind, this was a deal breaker.
The SRT8 has great cupholders. They even light up at night so you can see where they are, and I can drive around town anytime while enjoying a tasty beverage in my chosen size. Given a choice between a Cayenne GTS and the SRT8, I'd pick the Jeep.
2. Fictitious Movie Land Sharks. Our Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8's got a mean face. Look at that grimace. Even though it's refined and smooth, the front end looks like it could stare down Jaws. Imagine a giant great white shark that sprouted legs, came ashore and started terrorizing the masses. We're not gonna need a bigger boat, we've got an SRT8. The only way it could be any meaner, would be to paint it black. Grrrrrr.
3. Zombies. On The Walking Dead, (a television favorite of mine second only to Top Gear) the flesh-eating deceased roam the earth and our heroes drive a Hyundai Tucson. And whether it's chain link fences, small inclines or even a little bit of mud, it's all too much to ask of the small hatchback.
If I were stuck in a dystopian world, the first thing I'd do is ditch my Hyundai and go looking for a JGC SRT8. The Jeep feels rugged and competent in the city and in the hills, it has remote start for quick getaways, a flashlight in the trunk for night missions, and it could certainly carry a lot more supplies for taking on the Governor.
Travis Langness, Associate Editor @ 22,057 miles