2012 Nissan Quest LE: Express? That's Not Express
October 23, 2012
The morning after I climbed behind the wheel of our 2012 Nissan Quest and first saw the oil change (and filter and tire rotation) warnings, I did what Nissan probably intended; I headed for the nearest Nissan dealer.
But it wasn't as easy as that.
First, where is the nearest Nissan dealer, anyway? I went straight to the navigation system looking for a "nearest Nissan dearler" hot button in the POI list, but found nothing. So I typed "Nissan" into the POI "nearest to my location" search box, and it came back with list of 3 or 4 dealers, the closest of which was 11.8 miles away.
"That's not right," I grumbled.
So I turned to my iPhone and searched for "Nissan" and was rewarded with 3 choices that were less than 10 miles away. How had the iPhone beaten the navigation system? The closest iPhone result was "Stadium Nissan", and the navigation system hadn't found it because the first word in my search wasn't "Stadium". When I studied the navigation system list I noticed it had only returned results along the lines of "Nissan of <insert name here>."
Things didn't go much better when I finally got to Stadium Nissan, where I backed out of the service drive and headed home with the old oil still aboard after a couple of minutes.
As has already been established, the Quest needed nothing more than an oil change and tire rotation. So I pulled into the clearly marked Express Lane, which according to my understanding is a way for dealers to recover business lost to places like Jiffy Lube.
"Name?" asked the service writer, looking at his clipboard -- before "Hello" or "Good Morning" I might add.
"Huh?" I stammered before catching on. "Oh, I don't have a reservation. I only need an oil change and rotation. I'm here for the Express service," I continued while pointing at the sign over our heads.
"Yeah, well," he replied, "we're kind of busy. Let me go ask my manager."
After a brief huddle out of earshot he came back with the news.
"It'll be at least and hour and 45 minutes."
"Did you say an hour OR 45 minutes?" I asked hopefully.
"No. An hour AND 45 minutes, maybe more."
My vision of sitting in the dealer's waiting room, thumbing casually through an old magazine while trying not to listen to the blare from the TV was good for 30 minutes, maybe 45 tops. Their definition of "Express" was hopelessly out of line with mine. That I would need a reservation never even crossed my mind.
"No thanks. I'll handle it some other time."
Some other time indeed. I would have bought a filter and some oil on the way home and handled it myself within the hour but my parents were due in from out of town in a couple of hours and I needed to clean up, not oil down.
Dan Edmunds, Director of Vehicle Testing @ 23,298 miles