2013 Tesla Model S: Will the Wife Fit?
February 3, 2014
Jacquot and Monticello are forever pondering, "Will the Bike Fit?" Or rather, will a mountain bike fit in the trunk of the long-term car in question. That's not what I'm seeking to answer today.
Now normally, I wouldn't ponder whether my wife will fit in the trunk of a car. Generally speaking, doing so would indicate that I have either, A) Murdered her or B) Attempted to smuggle her out of East Germany. In this case, the 2013 Tesla Model S provides a third option.
We equipped our Tesla with the two-person, pop-up "third-row" seat that faces rearward in the trunk just like wagons of old (and the Mercedes-Benz E350 Wagon of new; the only other car to come so-equipped). It's quite obvious that it's intended for children, but as the wife in question is only 5 feet tall, I started to wonder if she would indeed fit.
Each seat comes with a five-point seat belt like you'd find in a child seat. Here, we briefly tried to secure it for a better picture, but as it proved mildly difficult to adjust the belts, abandoned the attempt.
Ah, so I guess it was a good thing we couldn't get those belts to work.
So here's your answer: the wife will not fit. Or she will, but she won't be happy. Or she won't have a head, which I suppose means you actually did murder her, in which case you didn't really need the Tesla to begin with. You really shouldn't murder your wife.
Best to keep the rumble seat to the kids, then. Or skip it altogether, as the hole it leaves under the trunk floor would be quite useful for carrying groceries and other easily shiftable items.
James Riswick, Automotive Editor @ 18,204 miles