2013 Tesla Model S Long-Term Road Test

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2013 Tesla Model S: Will the Wife Fit?

February 3, 2014

2013 Tesla Model S

Jacquot and Monticello are forever pondering, "Will the Bike Fit?" Or rather, will a mountain bike fit in the trunk of the long-term car in question. That's not what I'm seeking to answer today.

Now normally, I wouldn't ponder whether my wife will fit in the trunk of a car. Generally speaking, doing so would indicate that I have either, A) Murdered her or B) Attempted to smuggle her out of East Germany. In this case, the 2013 Tesla Model S provides a third option.

We equipped our Tesla with the two-person, pop-up "third-row" seat that faces rearward in the trunk just like wagons of old (and the Mercedes-Benz E350 Wagon of new; the only other car to come so-equipped). It's quite obvious that it's intended for children, but as the wife in question is only 5 feet tall, I started to wonder if she would indeed fit.

2013 Tesla Model S

Each seat comes with a five-point seat belt like you'd find in a child seat. Here, we briefly tried to secure it for a better picture, but as it proved mildly difficult to adjust the belts, abandoned the attempt.

2013 Tesla Model S

Ah, so I guess it was a good thing we couldn't get those belts to work.

2013 Tesla Model S

So here's your answer: the wife will not fit. Or she will, but she won't be happy. Or she won't have a head, which I suppose means you actually did murder her, in which case you didn't really need the Tesla to begin with. You really shouldn't murder your wife.

Best to keep the rumble seat to the kids, then. Or skip it altogether, as the hole it leaves under the trunk floor would be quite useful for carrying groceries and other easily shiftable items.

James Riswick, Automotive Editor @ 18,204 miles

Most Recommended Comments

By rock2155
on 02/03/14
12:16 PM PST

Actually I tend to differ, it looks way safer having the kids rear-facing as most of the accidents involve front end collision. The American Pediatric Association now recommends rear-facing until the age of 2 years old for that specific reason.

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By cjasis
on 02/03/14
11:16 AM PST

My wife and I were talking about this third row option over brunch yesterday when a family pulled up in front of the restaurant and their kids piled out of the back (mom and dad were up front, the second row was empty). I am old enough to have ridden with lap belts only, no airbags, and in the bed of pickup trucks but... there is no way in hell I'd let my kids ride in that bench seat. Call me crazy, call me paranoid, I don't care. That just seems like a very bad idea to me.

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By boff
on 02/04/14
4:57 AM PST

JRis your wife is pretty and is a good sport. A keeper!

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