Swedish Grumpypants - 2012 Volvo S60 T5 Long-Term Road Test

2012 Volvo S60 Long-Term Road Test

2012 Volvo S60 T5: Swedish Grumpypants

January 13, 2012

Volvo S60_pairing fail.jpg

Who is the Snake Doctor and why does the S60 keep searching for him?

Seems our staff cobra tamer A. Austria has duly charmed the S60. After I bumped the Doctor from the paired phones list (can't bump a mobile handle that pays homage to a pretty good Van Hagar album, after all), the S60 refused to find my phone. And I mean flat out refused.

Even after trying all combinations of shutting off the ignition, exiting the car, locking/unlocking, and even cycling my phone off and on a couple of times, the S60 would not find my phone.

Instead, it first searched for Snake Doctor -- last charmer in the driver's seat, apparently -- then looked for previously connected devices, then urged me to ensure that my phone was discoverable. I've paired my phone -- a 3G iPhone that runs on kerosene -- with the S60 before, no problem. Not this time. Thus ensued a quick spiral into a Bluetooth rabbit hole: checking the manual, deleting other phones, pairing the phone with another car to rule out a hardware issue.

This continued for 30 minutes. The first 15 minutes, I felt it was something of a job responsibility to try and get to the bottom of the issue. The next 15 minutes were pure mindless, irrational focus on a trivial matter. And when no apparent answer presented itself, I drove the S60 home in a funk, disliking it intensely. Lumbar's too aggressive. Engine's too loud. Too many stupid esoteric controls and switches. A dumb, lumpy 3-Series pretender.

All was forgotten after a good night's sleep. Next morning, the neighbor said how much she liked the color. The engine fired up with its distant shake and clatter that always makes me think it’s a diesel. It's a sound that indicates the engine is ready to do some work for you. In the end, I never did figure out the issue. The phone would still not pair the next morning. And it was still looking for that hack physician.

Dan Frio, Automotive Editor

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