2012 Audi A8L: The Sound of No Hands Clapping
May 22, 2012
Many LA sports fans are missing the Zen Master about now. I'm not sure the A8 is the right ride for those seeking clarity and empty mind, though. This thing has button upon button, engraved and etched with both hieroglyphics and familiar icons. You don't casually ease this car on the road without first studying the wiper stalk. If you do, you risk being that guy, like me, flashing the A8's high beams randomly while trying to set the cruise control.
Seems like the higher you climb into the rarified air of these luxe-bruisers, the more a computer science degree comes in handy. Or a couple of advance hours with the manual and some abridged notes. As performance benchmarks approach parity at this level, toys and features become one of the few ways to stand out.
I doubt the Zen Master spends too much time dialing in his adaptive suspension settings. I imagine he simply does what the A8 is over-equipped for: finding an open lane and standing on the throttle. Stable and strapped to the road at speed, the A8 offers an ideal environment to ponder this koan:
what is the sound of a leaky defense allowing a group of streaky jump-shooters into the paint for bucket after bucket after bucket?
(Stop calling for Mike Brown's head, Lakers Fan. You know this is true).
Dan Frio, Automotive Editor
Study up. Lotta buttons to learn.