2013 MINI Cooper S 2dr Hatchback (1.6L 4cyl Turbo 6M)
I'm a writer. It's what I do.
I've gone looking for the words to say about this car, and I can't find them. I'm instead overtaken by gusts of anger, confusion, and a general bitterness that this prop, this four-wheeled thing parading as a car, has consumed me this wholly. Look elsewhere.
Do not get this car.
Just last week I racked up my twelfth (12th) service appointment in 15 months.
MINI has dealt with almost every problem I've submitted, aside from the car running out of oil at 5k and a wheel bearing coming off, by repeatedly denying their existence.
When they find a given problem, seven service receipts deep, they say it's "spec."
The tweeters loudly crackling.
The clutch screeching into first and second gears ("normal").
The high-pitched whine that follows the engine's revs in pitch.
The window rolling down, after I pressed to roll it up.
The lumbar of my seat has snapped and buckled in under my hefty 165lb frame.
There's a squeak coming from paneling near the trunk an engineer said was "common." Yet it took them multiple visits to find it?
... I've got a few of 'em on YouTube, even.
Burn, hate, bad, pain; many simple-minded, monosyllabic curses upon you, you terrible, terrible, terrible excuse for a car company.