2013 MINI Cooper Consumer Review: Bad. Very. Very bad.

2013 MINI Cooper - Consumer Review

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86 of 121 people found this review helpful
Bad. Very. Very bad.
By ihitcows on


2013 MINI Cooper S 2dr Hatchback (1.6L 4cyl Turbo 6M)


I'm a writer. It's what I do. I've gone looking for the words to say about this car, and I can't find them. I'm instead overtaken by gusts of anger, confusion, and a general bitterness that this prop, this four-wheeled thing parading as a car, has consumed me this wholly. Look elsewhere. Do not get this car. Do not. Get. This car. Just last week I racked up my twelfth (12th) service appointment in 15 months. MINI has dealt with almost every problem I've submitted, aside from the car running out of oil at 5k and a wheel bearing coming off, by repeatedly denying their existence. When they find a given problem, seven service receipts deep, they say it's "spec."

Best Features

The tweeters loudly crackling. The clutch screeching into first and second gears ("normal"). The high-pitched whine that follows the engine's revs in pitch. The window rolling down, after I pressed to roll it up. The lumbar of my seat has snapped and buckled in under my hefty 165lb frame. There's a squeak coming from paneling near the trunk an engineer said was "common." Yet it took them multiple visits to find it? ... I've got a few of 'em on YouTube, even.

Worst Features

Burn, hate, bad, pain; many simple-minded, monosyllabic curses upon you, you terrible, terrible, terrible excuse for a car company.
Recommend (86) (35)
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