Almost one year ago, as I write this, my face was red, hot, and blue. Red, because I was standing at the altar of St. Mary of the Harbor church in Provincetown, Mass., waiting for my bride to decide if she was going to make the trek down the warped wooden aisle or cut her losses and run. All eyes were on me, a situation I distinctly abhor. Hot, because I was, for the moment, the center of attention and the tuxedo didn't breathe well in the rather stuffy church. Blue, but not really, because I wear ties about as often as I trek across the Himalayas in a pair of flip-flops, and the tuxedo shirt was uncomfortably tight across my Adam's apple. Christy and I took the plunge, and later, my face was red and hot courtesy of Sam Adams rather than a church full of staring friends and relatives.
Today, my face is red and hot once more. I spent a good three hours driving a Bahama Blue Mercedes-Benz SLK yesterday, and now my sun-baked face is radiating heat. Behind the wheel of the SLK, my face was red for the same reason it lit up in the church last May. All eyes were on me, a situation which, as I've mentioned, I distinctly abhor. Actually, all eyes were on the car, but getting stares in any region remotely close to me is uncomfortable. None of our staff members has experienced gawk factor like this since we drove the BMW Z3 last October.
When I met my wife, who applied for a job at the same Kalamazoo pizza place where I was a bat-out-of-hell delivery driver, I thought she was just another pretty face. On the surface, Christy seemed like the exact opposite of what I was looking for in a mate. But, after years of getting along as mere acquaintances, we forged a strong friendship and fell in love. Similarly, when Mercedes-Benz introduced the SLK roadster to the world, my jaw dropped as I surveyed photographs of its shapely sheetmetal. Early road test reports in other automotive journals indicated that Mercedes had missed the mark with the SLK, ranking it poorly against rivals from BMW and Porsche. So, after finally spending a week of quality time getting to know the SLK, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I developed a strong attachment to the little drop top that went beyond looks. However, unlike the blooming of my relationship with my wife, the SLK and I are just friends.
See, I've just gotta have a manual transmission in a car like the SLK. Even Christy, who prefers an automatic transmission, said that if she was going to buy a car like the SLK, she'd want to shift gears for herself, clutch and all. Evidently, Mercedes-Benz doesn't see it that way. The SLK comes only with a five-speed automatic Steptronic transmission. Steptronic refers to the fact that you can manually run the stubby shift lever through the gate between 1st and 4th gears. Be careful, though. Chrysler's AutoStick is idiot-proof, automatically shifting to the next gear if the driver forgets. The Steptronic lets the driver run the SLK right into the rev limiter, as I discovered after deciding at a long light that I'd shift manually, and then forgetting I was in manual mode until forward velocity past a slow-moving Ford Aerostar was rudely arrested by the electronic doo-dad that keeps dopes like me from blowing up the supercharged 2.3-liter four-cylinder engine. [Sigh] It just isn't the same without a clutch.
Another complaint we have with the transmission is slow response when stuck in overdrive mode. One day, we got into the wrong left turn lane on a busy street in south metro Denver. A quick check rearward cleared the way to do some quick lane maneuvering. After reversing 20 feet or so, we shifted back into D5, which is overdrive and the default transmission mode for those who fail to tap the shifter to the left of D5 into D4. My right foot tromped on the gas, and…nothing. Nothing for about 2 seconds, and then the car figured out I wanted to go someplace, like, right now. Also, when approaching a stop in D5, the transmission kicks down into 1st gear before the car has come to a complete stop. This causes the SLK to lurch a bit during those last few feet, because suddenly the engine is helping the four-wheel discs to slow the car. Smooth stops are nearly impossible. To solve these problems, drive the SLK in D4 unless you're eating up Interstate.
More on the transmission, and then I'll get to the good stuff. The SLK is equipped with an adaptive slushbox that supposedly learns driving characteristics and adapts to provide optimum performance. I have two problems with this type of transmission, and the problems aren't limited to the setup in the SLK. First, what does the transmission do if there are two people in the household who drive the car on a regular basis? Second, it doesn't seem that such a transmission can take into account that I don't want 1st and 2nd gear held longer all the time, because I don't want to go blasting away from every stoplight. We didn't live with the SLK long enough to truly test the adaptability of the transmission to different driving conditions and drivers, but we did feel that the transmission often seemed to shift when we were least expecting it. Realistically, this whole idea doesn't sound like it works well in the real world. Which of us asked for this technology?
Low scores also go to the cupholders, which pop out of the top of the dash and are positioned to drip all over the vents, the climate controls, and the stereo. The driver's seat height and recline is difficult to adjust properly, and the seat itself doesn't offer enough lumbar support for long-distance comfort. At $43,000, the SLK should have a power seat with memory capability. The trunk-mounted CD changer makes unloading and loading CDs a chore because the flimsy plastic jackets come right out of the magazine. We skipped CDs in favor of good, old-fashioned audio tapes. Our last gripe has to do with the hard plastic that covers the side of the transmission tunnel. I want to rest or brace my right leg there, and since I wear shorts until the temperature falls below 32 degrees Fahrenheit, the grained plastic becomes painful quickly against my exposed skin.
Otherwise, the SLK is a fantastic machine. Aside from the drop dead styling, which is far more attractive than what you'll find in BMW, Porsche, and Mazda dealers in the eyes of this writer, the next best characteristic of the SLK is handling. Riding on meaty P225/50R16 Michelin Pilot HX tires, the SLK grips the road like Wimpy does a hamburger before Tuesday. It takes an incredible amount of effort to get the SLK out of shape in the twisties. Know what this translates to? Immense degrees of fun and a big, fat grin on the face of the driver. Under the beautifully sculpted hood beats a 191-horsepower supercharged engine that feels somewhat breathless on long uphill stretches at high altitude, but is a willing accomplice in most other situations. A manual transmission would help make better use of this motor's power. The exhaust note is more of a grumble than a melody, but matches the SLK's scrappy personality perfectly. Steering feels a touch light, particularly at high speed, but the brakes are peerless. Mash them at any velocity and the only thing that will hold you in the car is the seatbelt.
Inside are reasonably comfortable seats, facing an ergonomically correct and retro-styled dashboard. Chrome ringed gauges are white-faced, and glow orange at night. The center console stack is finished in fake carbon fiber trim, which has a short shelf life. After 7 days, we were sick of it and wishing for some wood. Also screaming for attention in the pewter-over-black interior were the horn buttons, colored light gray on the black steering wheel, and the three-pointed star emblem in the center of the airbag cover, which reeked of cheap costume jewelry from Tijuana. Storage space is plentiful, with map pockets on the doors, a large glovebox, a good-sized center console, an in-dash slot, and a pocket affixed to the rear wall of the cockpit. The stereo is perfectly audible at extra-legal speeds, and is equipped with speed-compensating volume control, but the system doesn't compensate quite enough.
After styling and handling, the SLK shines for its practicality. This Benz is two, two, two cars in one. With the top up, the SLK functions as a weather-tight hardtop coupe. Hit a switch, and the top folds up like a clamshell and stores itself in the trunk. There is no boot to install once the top has been lowered, so a clean look is easy to achieve. The large rear window is glass, and includes a defroster, so winter driving in the SLK ain't nothin' but a thang, so long as you swap out the Pilot HX tires for a set of Bridgestone Blizzaks. And, with the top raised, the trunk actually holds stuff. Well, enough stuff for the two people that can travel in the SLK.
We're impressed by our red-hot and blue SLK. Runs good, looks great, handles phenomenally, and comes standard with a slick hardtop for nasty weather. Of course, die-hard enthusiasts will likely wait in line for a Z3 2.8 or a Boxster, but the SLK isn't aimed at these motorheads. If it was, there'd be some wood and a manual transmission inside, wouldn't there?
